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The first date is an opportunity to make a good impression, get to know each other, and establish a connection. However, asking the wrong questions can make things awkward, uncomfortable, or even ruin the chances of building a relationship. Here are questions you should avoid on the first date—and possibly forever.
Too Personal or Invasive Questions
"How much do you weigh?"
- This is intrusive and can make her feel judged or uncomfortable.
"How much money do you make?"
- Financial matters are private and should be shared only when the relationship has developed trust.
"What’s your bra size?"
- Highly inappropriate and objectifying.
"How many people have you slept with?"
- This question is disrespectful and unnecessary, especially early on.
"Why are you still single?"
- This comes across as judgmental and might make her feel defensive.
"When was your last relationship, and why did it end?"
- Digging into her past on the first date can feel invasive.
"Are you pregnant?"
- Even if you're curious, never assume or ask this question—it’s offensive.
"Do you have any medical conditions?"
- This is deeply personal and not appropriate for a first meeting.
"Why don’t you want kids?"
- If this topic comes up, respect her opinion rather than interrogating her.
"How old are you?"
- Asking this bluntly can seem rude; let her share this information when she’s comfortable.
Materialistic or Shallow Questions
"What kind of car do you drive?"
- This can come across as superficial and materialistic.
"Do you live in a big house or an apartment?"
- Avoid questions that might make her feel judged by her living situation.
"What’s the most expensive thing you own?"
- It’s better to focus on her personality rather than her possessions.
"Do you always dress like this?"
- This could make her self-conscious about her appearance.
"How much did your outfit cost?"
- Commenting on cost rather than complimenting her style is a red flag.
Overly Sexual or Explicit Questions
"What’s your favorite position?"
- Sexual questions are inappropriate on a first date unless she initiates such a conversation.
"Do you think I’m hot?"
- This comes across as insecure or self-absorbed.
"What’s your wildest fantasy?"
- Save intimate discussions for when you both feel comfortable and connected.
"How often do you... you know?"
- Such questions are too explicit and not suitable for early interactions.
"Would you consider a one-night stand?"
- This can give the impression that you're not interested in a serious relationship.
Judgmental or Negative Questions
"Why do you eat that much/little?"
- Food choices are personal, and commenting on them can be hurtful.
"Don’t you think you’re too old/young for this?"
- Ageist remarks are rude and dismissive.
"Why do you believe in that religion/politics?"
- Avoid contentious topics that could lead to an argument unless discussed respectfully.
"Are you sure you’re over your ex?"
- This assumes she’s not ready to move on and can make her defensive.
"Why do you look different in your pictures?"
- This question can sound accusatory and make her feel judged.
Overly Pessimistic or Heavy Questions
"Do you think true love even exists?"
- A first date is meant to be light and enjoyable, not philosophical.
"What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?"
- Avoid bringing up topics that could be traumatic or heavy.
"Do you have a lot of debt?"
- Financial burdens are not something to discuss early in dating.
"What’s your biggest regret in life?"
- This can make her uncomfortable and take the conversation in a negative direction.
"Have you ever cheated on anyone?"
- This kind of probing can seem accusatory and isn’t appropriate early on.
Questions That Make You Seem Disinterested or Unprepared
"What’s your name again?"
- Forgetting her name shows a lack of interest.
"Wait, what do you do for work again?"
- If you’ve discussed this before, forgetting details can make her feel undervalued.
"What do you bring to the table?"
- This makes it seem like you’re evaluating her worth.
"How do you plan to make this relationship work?"
- This can come across as too serious or accusatory too soon.
"So, do you always talk this much?"
- Comments about her personality can make her feel self-conscious.
Overly Self-Centered Questions
"Do you think I’m a catch?"
- Self-centered questions can come across as egotistical.
"Do you think I’d look better with a beard/mustache?"
- Asking for validation about your appearance shifts the focus away from her.
"Do you think I’m better-looking than your ex?"
- This is insecure and unnecessary.
"What do you like most about me?"
- While you want to feel admired, this comes off as fishing for compliments.
"Do you think I’m doing okay on this date?"
- Avoid questions that reveal too much nervousness or insecurity.
Too Forward or Commitment-Focused Questions
"How soon do you want to get married?"
- This can feel too intense for a first date.
"How many kids do you want?"
- Conversations about children are better saved for later in the relationship.
"When can I meet your parents?"
- This might come across as rushing things.
"Do you think we’ll end up together?"
- Focus on enjoying the moment rather than looking too far ahead.
"How serious are you about finding a partner?"
- While clarity is important, this can make the date feel like a job interview.
Final Tip:
A first date should be about discovering each other in a fun, relaxed way. Avoid overly personal, heavy, or inappropriate topics. Instead, focus on light-hearted, open-ended questions that encourage her to share more about herself in a comfortable setting.
